Miles away, and I wish this didn't mean so much to me to be a monument for the rest of them

We, as humans, spend so much time on trying to be perfect in the eyes of society. Girls spend hours on their hair and make-up daily, hiding their imperfections with grotesque amounts of powders and foundations, not letting themselves be seen as exactly that, themselves. Guys, well, guys care less about what they look unlike girls but they still want to be noticed as amazing and maybe perfect as well. They want the girls that spend hours to look "perfect" to look at them and think that they look perfect enough for them too. The same thing happens in work places and relationships. Bosses make their employees know everything that needs to be done or how to word things as if they wrote a book on it. They make their employees, even new ones, fear that something bad is going to happen if you make one mistake. The bigger the mistake, the more the person fears. It could be their first few days flying solo on the job or they could be a veteran of that job, have worked there for years, and the moment that the mistake happens, fear is struck into their hearts and minds, worrying that something horrible will happen.

We spend so much time trying to be perfect. We try to make everything, including ourselves, look like the fake, airbrushed perfection that is plastered all over the world. In movies, in magazines, on TV shows, everywhere are the pictures of the 'perfect', size zero girl or the 'perfect', well muscled guy that puts pressure on the girls and guys watching that movie or TV show or reading that magazine to look like them. Society is what created this 'perfect' look. The media enhanced what our perception on it should be. People everywhere are trying to look like their favorite actors, actresses, musicians, and even athletes. Girls, mainly, spend their time updating their wardrobe to be the newest and best out there that they saw their 'role-model' wearing in the latest Cosmopolitan that hit the stands. Money isn't a question in their minds as long as they have the best of the best with the best looking guy, or the richest depending on the girl, on her arm. This society is willing to break people apart and not even think twice about it.

So some people fight against it. They fight the 'normal' thing and do their own thing. Their hair doesn't look perfect. Maybe the just rolled out of bed, ran a brush through it if it's long enough, and left the house. Maybe they spent hours on getting the 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' look. Either way, some people stopped caring about what society wants people to look like and basically told it to back off. Some people go out and get tattoos and piercings and while their favorite bands are tattooed and pierced up, the different things are reflecting their inner selves. What these markings show are the different feelings, the different events, that have shaped this person to be who they are today and to be the best of the best in their eyes and no one else's. But, the people who cast what society would like aside, are usually casted aside by society as well, leaving them out in the open, like dirty laundry spilled across the ground for everyone to see, with no one but maybe the other outcasts to keep them company.

And why does this happen? Because we want to be perfect. But we're not perfect! We're just human. We make mistakes. People get blemishes when they get too stressed out or hormonal. People wake up with bad hair days and not enough time to actually make it look as 'perfect' as they believe it should in order to go out that day. We get stuck wearing the clothes that we hate because it's not laundry day yet. We spend so much time trying to be perfect, we forget what is really important in life. I'm not going to be the perfect girl for my boyfriend, no matter how hard I try. I word things incorrectly and make him feel as if I am hiding something or that I am going crazy. I'm not a world-class chef who can make him the most exquisite filet mignon that he has ever tasted. But I can try to be the best for him. I can try to show him how much he means to me and that even though I mess up sometimes, I am still the same girl that he fell in love with back in high school. When it comes to work, I'm not going to be perfect at what I do. Not this time around. I need time to get back to where I was at before in the 'perfection' department. Until then, they have to realize that I am going to make mistakes because I am still getting used to how things work here. I am only one person and working as if I am five will just make things more complicated.

But, in the end, I try. I try to be as perfect as I can be. Who cares about what society thinks of my hair or my make-up (or lack-thereof)? Who cares about my tattoos and piercings? All that matters is what's on the inside. All that matters is what you've done in your life. All that matters is if you TRY to be the best that you can be without caring about the other people around you who judge you.

We are only human. No one is perfect.

Title from the lyrics Monument by A Day To Remember

2011 - A New Beginning

We have successfully made it to 2011. We have made it through the troubles with or without someone holding our hands to help us up in case we were to fall. We have made it through the most amazing times and allowed no one to get in our way. We made it to a place that, some people, don't even believe will be here within 2 years. December 2012; the end of the world. Yet there are still people out there who can't seem to just sit back and enjoy life the way that they should. People who have barely been 21 who won't even take one step in a bar. Partially, because they don't drink but mainly because their self-esteem is far too low for them to think that maybe, just maybe, someone will find them interesting when they finally let the words that they had to speak, fall from their lips.

But it's not just the self-esteem that makes them drop. Their pessimism seems to help feed into their fear of rejection. "All I want is a New Years Kiss...But I highly doubt that is going to happen" they plaster all over Facebook and Twitter, multiple times over the final night of 2010. They can't just sit and enjoy the memories of the past year. And when asked about them, they probably just shrug it off and throw the same question at someone else who is around them, even if they have fallen too far into a depression that hearing about how amazing someone else's year was could push them over the edge. They have fallen far too deep into a hole that they have no way of pulling themselves out anymore. They think about their past, failed relationships and wonder what they could have done differently. They listen to what their ex says when trying to get back with them and the ex's words just brushes them off, wanting to leave and be with someone else, someone who might not pull them under the water of life's vast ocean. They hold onto this rejection from the past and let it to grow, like bacteria on meat that's been left out for too long, causing it to take a new shape, a new shade, and take over. A new fear begins to grow, even. They stop knowing that there is more to life than someone that was in their life and then who bolted at the first gap that they saw.

But this year can be different. This year, we can try to put the past in the past, forgive and forget, and move on from whatever has been holding us back from reaching our full potential. Grown men can stop acting like little girls when they don't get what they want. And girls can stop spreading their legs for anyone that shows them even the slightest bit of attention. Life isn't all roses and smiles. You have to take what you can when you can and try best not to regret. You have to take the good with the bad and work harder on things. You have to keep trying for the things that will benefit you and let go of the things that won't and not even worry about how difficult trying could possibly be. This year, it doesn't have to be the same. It doesn't have to follow the same schedule and routine as the previous years. This year, we can remove the people who have harmed us beyond all repair and who continue to try to harm us. We can be different. We can change. It's never too late. Tomorrow, you can wake up and cut your hair all off in that look that you've been dying to try out but never though would work with your face. You can get a tattoo or piercing even though you know that your parents will hate it. You can change your appearance any way you want. You can get a new job. You can go to school. You can do so many different things. This is the beginning of a new year. This is a new start, a new beginning. The possibilities are endless!

So, lets make this year different. Lets make this year the best that we have lived through thus far. Lets make our resolutions and stick with them. One of mine is to actually keep up with this blog. Also, to try to stretch my legs more so I can have them back the way they were when I was still dancing. Maybe even work out more and try to get some nice looking abs before the summer. All I know as of now is that I am living in the present and the future. The only things I want to remember from my past are the events that got me to who I am today.

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow.

Welcome, world, to 2011!